Book Review - ASK

ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life by Jeff Wetzler  (Author), Amy Edmondson  (Foreword) (2024, Kindle Edition)

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? If reading other people’s minds is among them, this book is for you. There is an art and science to asking the right kind of questions in the right way to discover what other people know, think, and feel in order to tap into their hidden wisdom. According to global expert on adult development and learning, Jeff Wetzler, this is a learnable kind of “superpower” that, if mastered, can improve communication, foster deeper connections, and lead to better problem-solving and decision-making.

So, what prevents others from sharing what’s really in their heads and hearts? From Wetzler’s experience, research and perspective, there are four powerful barriers:

1. They are worried about the impact (on you, them, your relationship).

2. They cannot find the right words because they lack the skills or language to express themselves in ways that feel acceptable, or because they are still processing internally.

3. They lack the time or energy to share.

4. They think you are not interested in hearing form them.

At issue is, how does one move beyond these barriers? According to Wetzler, there is only one thing research has shown consistently and accurately that allows us to discover what others know, think, and feel: ask them. In the book, Ask, Jeff Wetzler presents a research-based, practice-tested methodology called the Ask Approach that can be mastered and applied step-by-step. This framework is designed to help individuals and teams overcome the barriers that hold them back from asking for help and support. 

The book is structured into three sections. Section one reveals the most common barriers that lead people to clamp down and not share information, as well as what kinds of information people are least likely to share with others. In section two, Wetzler presents and unpacks a five-step Ask Approach for action that consists of the following steps: 

1. Choose curiosity: Resist quick assumptions that “limit learning and damage relationships.” Embrace the unknown and challenge the status quo.

2. Make it safe: In order to create an environment where people are unafraid to share, learn to support others when they are in need. Foster a culture of trust and empathy, where vulnerability is celebrated rather than shunned.

3. Pose quality questions: Don’t ask to interrogate; ask high-quality questions to uncover insights and foster meaningful dialogue. Encourage curiosity and exploration.

4. Listen to learn: Don’t listen to respond; listen to learn and understand. Practice active listening and empathy to gain deeper insights into the experiences and perspectives of others..

5. Reflect and reconnect: Take time to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your team's purpose and goals. Use reflection as a tool for growth and improvement, fostering resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges.

Each chapter in this section dives into one of the five steps⎯ weaving together stories, frameworks, scientific research and, most importantly, practical strategies that can be immediately apply. Finally, in Section III, Wetzler offers a framework and strategies on how to make the Ask Approach a true superpower in one’s entire life: whether at work, at home, and/or in the world. 

To illustrate: One useful tool that is described in step one of the Ask Approach and referenced throughout the book chapters is called the “ladder of understanding”. This tool can be used as a reflective tool for oneself and also leveraged as a shared tool to work through a conflict or an issue with another person or group. It provides a simple model to advance from one step to the next, building on the knowledge gained from the one below to make sense of a situation.

Other particularly valuable aspects of this book include: (a) ways that Artificial Intelligence may enhance one’s efforts to learn and apply the Ask Approach, (b) inclusion of a summary of key points at the end of each chapter, and (c) the infusion of questions and exercises throughout each chapter to aid the reader in reflecting on one’s own experiences and in applying the tools presented. It is also noteworthy that the core tools and frameworks included in the book are available online at www.AskApproach.com.

As a longstanding higher education administrator and consultant, this reviewer knows from experience the value and benefits of mastering this skillset, and also that asking and engaging others in welcome conversations is easier said than done. Unfortunately, few leaders are taught how to do this well. Indeed, it takes intentionality and practice to build competence in asking and in fostering learning at work and in life in general. This communications guidebook is an important read, particularly for those who are frustrated from too much noise in the room and not enough listening.